( they've come a long way, these two girls. but something that always sits at the back of clarke's mind are the fraught conversations they'd had in the truth telling rain and nestled in the booth of gil's diner. there'd been a reason, after they'd pieced together that jinx played a part in natsuno's explosive exit in october, that clarke hadn't asked rita to accompany their hunt, despite knowing she had the firepower. some part of her thinks the other girl might not be able to stomach the same unnerving things she'd seen, that she'd done — and also feels that diaphragm deep desire to prevent her from ever having to.
both sentiments have clarke seeking to put down pretty firm roadblocks here and now, especially when the newest enemies they're facing are just different versions of themselves.
and, why not try shock value? )
You won't be able to touch your own double. Would you really want to stand on the sidelines and watch me kill someone who looks exactly like you? That's not a mental image that ever goes away, Rita...
[It's true that despite everything, she has yet to actively kill anyone herself--monsters, plenty, but not people. Not even people who were no more than ghosts wearing her friends' faces.
But that's why, in this moment, the shock value isn't about to to reduce Rita's bullheadedness in the least.]
You think I haven't seen plenty already, after everything we've been through? Don't forget I was killed by some jerk piloting your body!
[Speaking of shock value and reminders!!]
Besides--telling me it's a mental image that doesn't go away--then what about you?! That means you're dealing with killing them too, you know!
aka that's very effective "turnabout is fair play" in terms of shock value right there, well played. clarke's stomach seizes and does a particularly painful flip-flop; what the ghost in her body had done that first halloween was always a blank, story pieced together by the evidence left over on her body upon revival and the horrible tableau of pictures in photos at sea the days after. clarke has to buckle back an initial gasp, but manages to slot her grief over that particular holiday onto a back burner — still too furious at the current situation to linger.
clipped, slowly, and deliberately emotionless she argues back with rita: )
...I can live with it. If it means keeping the rest of you safe, I'll handle it. I've done worse...
[She can tell she hit a sore spot, but with the way this is likely to go, she won't have the bandwidth to feel all that bad about bringing it up--not when she'll be too busy being angry at Clarke for going off and doing this alone.
But that's later: right now, she's still intent on not letting that happen. Clarke clamps down on emotions, and Rita does the opposite, all stubborn anger and righteous fury as she immedatiately snaps back into the earpiece.]
Idiot! Is that supposed to be reassuring?! What, you expect us to just--think you can kill them and feel nothing? Get real! Besides--I don't need you suffering on my behalf. I don't want that!
--I'm coming with you whether you agree or not, so just deal with it!
I didn't say I wouldn't feel anything, I just — ( she's so frustrated by the situation as a whole, and rita's lack of cooperation just rubs salt into the wounds. hindsight will prove 50/50, even in the moment proper she knows the other girl is yelling at her because she cares, but god damn, that just makes everything harder. clarke scrubs a hand over her face and lets her dirty palm press against her mouth to muffle an aggrieve uuuugh! because she doesn't have the energy to fight the fight on two fronts. ) Can you just — acquiesce on my behalf this one time? Please? You know what'd actually make me suffer? Watching you watch a Natsuno die, and seeing him watch a you. I'm not going to make you two...
( but she cuts off abruptly with a sharp inhale. a whirl, a rustle of clothing, and the sudden, distinct vibe she's — teetering on the edge between fear and relief — talking to someone other than rita. )
[Clarke's plea doesn't fall on deaf ears, exactly, but Rita's metaphorical feet remain firmly planted. Her first thought is how it's no better for Clarke to have to kill the fake Natsuno, considering what close friends they are, but before she can even start to argue this point back (again), there's some faint noise a change in Clarke's tone.]
Octavia Isn't that- [Still fuming from their arguing, Rita's voice initially comes out as an angry snap, but belatedly she stops short as she recalls that chaotic day she spent in Clarke's memory, and the weird girl who stripped down and jumped in the monster-infested river for fun. There's something she could say about this development, but-]
Hang on. She's not actually here, is she? Don't try to go changing the subject on me! We're not done yet!
( oh, but at the end of the day, they are done here. at least in this exact moment, because clarke is completely distracted by the physical manifestation of yet another friend in front of her.
and while she doesn't disconnect the call with rita entirely, she doesn't respond either. the other girl is treated to a brief few seconds of muffled conversation, then the crackling reverb of a sharp intake of breath. there's the zing of a blade slashing through air and subsequent scuffle of someone aggressively backtracking, and lastly the abortive scream of one clarke griffin, yet again facing what feels like impending death. )
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no subject
both sentiments have clarke seeking to put down pretty firm roadblocks here and now, especially when the newest enemies they're facing are just different versions of themselves.
and, why not try shock value? )
You won't be able to touch your own double. Would you really want to stand on the sidelines and watch me kill someone who looks exactly like you? That's not a mental image that ever goes away, Rita...
no subject
But that's why, in this moment, the shock value isn't about to to reduce Rita's bullheadedness in the least.]
You think I haven't seen plenty already, after everything we've been through? Don't forget I was killed by some jerk piloting your body!
[Speaking of shock value and reminders!!]
Besides--telling me it's a mental image that doesn't go away--then what about you?! That means you're dealing with killing them too, you know!
no subject
aka that's very effective "turnabout is fair play" in terms of shock value right there, well played. clarke's stomach seizes and does a particularly painful flip-flop; what the ghost in her body had done that first halloween was always a blank, story pieced together by the evidence left over on her body upon revival and the horrible tableau of pictures in photos at sea the days after. clarke has to buckle back an initial gasp, but manages to slot her grief over that particular holiday onto a back burner — still too furious at the current situation to linger.
clipped, slowly, and deliberately emotionless she argues back with rita: )
...I can live with it. If it means keeping the rest of you safe, I'll handle it. I've done worse...
no subject
But that's later: right now, she's still intent on not letting that happen. Clarke clamps down on emotions, and Rita does the opposite, all stubborn anger and righteous fury as she immedatiately snaps back into the earpiece.]
Idiot! Is that supposed to be reassuring?! What, you expect us to just--think you can kill them and feel nothing? Get real! Besides--I don't need you suffering on my behalf. I don't want that!
--I'm coming with you whether you agree or not, so just deal with it!
no subject
( but she cuts off abruptly with a sharp inhale. a whirl, a rustle of clothing, and the sudden, distinct vibe she's — teetering on the edge between fear and relief — talking to someone other than rita. )
Oh — Octavia. I was just about to call you.
no subject
Octavia Isn't that- [Still fuming from their arguing, Rita's voice initially comes out as an angry snap, but belatedly she stops short as she recalls that chaotic day she spent in Clarke's memory, and the weird girl who stripped down and jumped in the monster-infested river for fun. There's something she could say about this development, but-]
Hang on. She's not actually here, is she? Don't try to go changing the subject on me! We're not done yet!
no subject
and while she doesn't disconnect the call with rita entirely, she doesn't respond either. the other girl is treated to a brief few seconds of muffled conversation, then the crackling reverb of a sharp intake of breath. there's the zing of a blade slashing through air and subsequent scuffle of someone aggressively backtracking, and lastly the abortive scream of one clarke griffin, yet again facing what feels like impending death. )
What are you doing?!
( then the line goes dead. )