[ Ouch. The yelling hurts his head and he flinches. His eyes are hidden behind sunglasses, and his hair is piled on his head. He looks cool and unaffected, but also kind of ill ]
Jeez, jeez, slow down, Rita.
[ The yelling, it's always the yelling with her, but he really should have expected it. If she hits him, he won't do anything about it but pout a little.
But, wait. He stares at her from under the sunglasses ]
[She comes to a stop, maybe breathing just a little heavy after making a mad dash all the way here, but she doesn't hit him. Not yet, anyway. He looks...kind of terrible, even if the sunglasses partially hide it, and she's scrutinizing what she can see of his face. She thinks even she looks better (and why wouldn't he look worse, he had to be on that island for longer-)
Oh, right. The fingers of her right hand twitch reflexively.]
Oh...yeah... It seems like everything really does get fixed, after...
[She shakes her head; that isn't quite why she came over here.]
Nevermind--it's fine. [it's not] Why the hell did you--how could you just...give up?
[She doesn't quite yell for once, partially because...she does kind of get it. Flynn was already dead, too. But having to watch Yuri look so utterly empty and defeated, that's not how it's supposed to be-]
[ Yuri watches her flex her fingers on her right hand, feeling some sort of unidentifiable feeling about that. It was his fault it was gone. Dying brought it back. How can be reconcile those two things?
But her question is just as hard, and he looks away, out at the ocean again. ]
Dunno. Didn't want to win.
[ He doesn't even know if he could have won, but trying, trying to win for the Captain's entertainment? That isn't what he wanted to do ]
[A single night of being dead, or a couple weeks of recovery? Rita refuses to think about which one is better.
More importantly, she's a little indignant in her reply.]
That's not what I meant!
[She wouldn't have wanted to see him going around killing the others and winning the game. Natsuno looked like hell, a short while earlier. Yuri already looks like hell.]
Why did you just...let yourself die like that?! Flynn and I saw it, you know-!
[ He didn't know that. He didn't know, even though he saw the screens, saw the replays, he could have guessed, but it hits him when she says it, that she, Rita, and Flynn (Flynn) saw him. Saw him asking for it, literally.
He stays still, another type of pain dropping through him. The pain that he caused his friends pain, that they hurt because they had to watch him do that, that they care enough to be hurt by him dying. ]
...no. I didn't know that.
[ His hand curls into a fist on the railing, staring hard out at the ocean ]
I'm sorry, Rita. I broke my promise to you. [ That he wouldn't do anything stupid, that he wouldn't try to die. He did exactly that ]
[Why not survive (alone and miserable?), there could have been things he could've tried (like what?), he could've stuck it out longer (just to be killed by poison?)--Rita can't quite formulate a response with all the broken thoughts competing in her mind, but there's an awful pressure in her chest. It's just like-
Like when Raven betrayed them and seemingly died. He came back afterwards, just like Yuri's here now, but one day--one day, one of them is going to die and they might not come back.]
You idiot! Jerk!
[It's about all the eloquence she can muster as she does finally snap and throw a punch at his chest, rather than doing something stupid like cry.]
[ There it is. It isn't that he wasn't anticipating the punch, but he still takes it, Rita's fist shoving him back against the rail. He clutches at the spot, and it actually makes him laugh, breaking him out of his stupor. He grins up at her ]
Ow. You wanna kill me again?
[ He remembers Clarke falling into the ocean, okay? ]
[ He's about to make another joke when he catches the redness of her eyes. Fuck. Rita wasn't supposed to care about him that much. Why should she? He stares at her for a moment, then laughs, looking away and running a hand through his hair ]
Yeah, yeah, I know. Look, it wasn't like it was fun.
[This stupid friendship thing (not that she'd give it up for anything--and not that she'd ever admit that). At least Yuri isn't talking about how much he preferred to accelerate his death. That's an improvement, and she sucks in a deep breath to try and calm down.]
After-?
[It clicks almost immediately; Yuri was still on the island, so it means he must have found their--bodies, or the blood, or whatever was left. Rita crosses her arms and steps back, letting Yuri have some personal space again.]
...Some idiot decided we were a threat and attacked us. And...
[She doesn't like this part, or the part where her own spell drew Pluma's attention in the first place, but there's no point in hiding it from Yuri--even if it wasn't being broadcast all over the ship.]
And...I messed up a spell.
[She flexes her right hand again. Maybe it was stupid to sign up for that "trip" when she was still having trouble with large spells.]
[ He shutters again when she says it, his eyes going to her hand. His fault, it's his fault that she lost her hand, his fault that she messed up the spell, that she got hurt. He stays still, against the railing, head bowed ]
Shit. I'm sorry. You... we?
[ He doesn't know that Jade was there too, only what Natsuno told him. ]
[...Yuri's doing that thing again, isn't he? Where for some reason he takes on way too much responsibility for things he doesn't need to.]
That four-eyed guy--Jade. He was there too--that idiot, all because he couldn't mind his own business...
[Jade seems to have that in common with him, too.
No matter how much she hates it, Rita can admit that she messed up big time, though. After this...she can't let something like that happen again. She can't be recklessly putting her friends in danger.]
...You know it's not your fault there's some real nutcases on the ship, right?
Man... [ He knows Jade. So that's who died with her. Even though everyone is alive again, it hurts. It hurts to think that they had to die. It's like Pharaoh all over again, everyone being threatened, killed, and Yuri is even more at a loss for how to help now. He has no idea how to fight the Captain, he feels useless and pathetic and like he's making this worse for everyone around him ]
I swear to you, I'll be there next time. I'll stop them.
[ Clearly he didn't listen to that last sentence, too lost in his own anger at himself, for letting Rita die, for not being there to back her up. She's no good in a fight alone, but protected? She's the most powerful one of them all.
[Oh, he sure as hell is doing that thing, and beating himself up just because he has to feel responsible for everyone and everything (not that she's ever disliked that about him, but now--it looks like it's destroying him).
But he gets spared from some more yelling and punching (for now) with that question. Rita shakes her head.]
No. For how annoying that guy can be, it turns out he's about as big a softy on the inside as you are.
[ At least it sounds like they can trust Jade, even if the rest of the ship is suspicious. Yuri lets out a breath, looking Rita over with an expression that's more vulnerable than he usually lets himself be ]
Some other... have you seen him again? Are you, I guess you're not alright, are you? Hell, dying sucks.
[ And he hates that she experienced it, that he couldn't do more to prevent it, that he couldn't be there. He wants to make it up to her, but how do you make up for death? ]
[She did run into Pluma again, and--it sucked. Seeing the person who actually killed her, who then went on to apologize and nonchalantly explain whatever warped logic was driving her as if none of it mattered? Rita doesn't even want to think about it, tension stiffening her shoulders again.
It's easier to address Yuri's other question. Especially with the way he looks at her like that. Yeah, dying really does suck, and they both know it now--and she hates that.]
...Physically, everything's fine. I don't know if the same can be said for you, though.
[He looks like hell. Not that any of them look fine, but there's something especially off in the pallor of his face.]
[ He's not going to push if she doesn't want to answer. He can guess, and doesn't like it. Maybe he can grill Jade later, find out who did it.
He hates that he feels like he owes her. Like her friendship is like an entry fee she paid that means he has to actually answer instead of deflecting like he wants to. Having people like Rita, like Estelle, like Karol, it really is different, and he still isn't used to it. When it was Flynn and him, they were always in sync, always knew what the other one was thinking. With his guild, his friends, they care about him, but it's different, and Yuri finds it hard to accept.
He toys with the answer for a moment, not quite looking at her. He's as honest as he can be: ] I was here. Sorry, if I worried you. I needed some time alone.
[Wait, saying out loud she was worried? She'd die of embarrassment. So she cuts the shout short, crosses her arms, and frowns, because she's certain she checked the pool, but...he's here now, anyway.
Plus...she gets it. How long would she have stayed in her cabin alone after waking up, if Jade and Fio hadn't both come by?]
A-anyway... I know the whole "lone wolf" bit is your thing, but...
[Actually, no, she is going to die of embarrassment because this is about to be the dumbest, cheesiest thing she's ever said. Ugh. But she's still going to say it, because someone has to with Yuri. She's just going to turn around first don't look at her-]
...At a time like this, it's not that bad to be not-alone, you know!
[ That gets a smile out of him, small and brief, but this is Rita being Rita, and it does help. ]
Yeah, I'm getting that.
[ But after the telling off he got from Flynn-- for once he doesn't want to just go against it. He actually might consider changing, might try and take this whole situation by the horns and commit to figuring it out. So what if he was dying at home, he's alive now. He's died and been brought back, he can't assume that all is for nothing just because Sodia decided he wasn't worth the air he breathes. Rita thinks he is. Flynn thinks he is. That has to count for something, even if Yuri has a hard time internalizing it ]
You know what that means, right? We're a wolf pack, now.
[ It's a dumb joke, and it deserves to be treated as such, but at least he isn't looking quite so morose ]
[...Huh, he accepted that surprisingly easily. Rita's already turning back around just in time for his dumb joke, so he gets to see her slightly-unimpressed look.]
...A trio is hardly what I'd call a pack.
[...He does look a bit better, though. And this was clearly "yelling some sense into him", not a pep talk.]
[ A pack is a pack is a pack. He stares off at the ocean, but with a smile, now. Yeah, there's a lot to do. Yeah, Rita got hurt, and he has to figure out how to make sure that doesn't happen again. Yeah, Flynn yelled at him yesterday. Yeah, he died, and is standing here, and that's kind of amazing. ]
I dunno. Figure out how to get off this ship. Figure out how to stop the Captain at his own game. It's... hard. If death means nothing, here. [ Meaning that Yuri's usual methods won't really work ] But with your genius brain, Flynn's leadership, and my... [ what does he bring? He doesn't really know. ] We'll find a way. That guy's not gonna beat us.
[...Ah, Rita gets it now, as she raises an eyebrow at him. Way back when they confronted the captain, Yuri said his sword couldn't touch the sick jerk, so that's been getting to him, too. Along with everything else. Well...she doesn't know how to restore his confidence where that's concerned. Maybe Flynn would have a better idea. Hell, maybe Flynn already realized this long before she did. She decides not to address that and nods along instead.]
You're damn right. Sure, dying...really sucked. But we're back now, and we still have a world waiting for us. We'll never get back to it if we just mope around.
[It's not actually going to be that simple, of course. But talking it over like this, it makes a lot of the dread and horror from the past few days feel...more distant, in a way. At least right now.]
Nothing like a little death is gonna keep us down. [ He looks at her now, and means what he says more than she can know right now. He has to leave it behind, he has to help them find a way out, and not wonder about what's going to happen to him when they do manage to get home. He needs to put the part he can control, getting out of here, before anything else.
He pushes himself up, rapping his knuckles on the railing. ] Has someone won yet?
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Jeez, jeez, slow down, Rita.
[ The yelling, it's always the yelling with her, but he really should have expected it. If she hits him, he won't do anything about it but pout a little.
But, wait. He stares at her from under the sunglasses ]
Your hand.
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Oh, right. The fingers of her right hand twitch reflexively.]
Oh...yeah... It seems like everything really does get fixed, after...
[She shakes her head; that isn't quite why she came over here.]
Nevermind--it's fine. [it's not] Why the hell did you--how could you just...give up?
[She doesn't quite yell for once, partially because...she does kind of get it. Flynn was already dead, too. But having to watch Yuri look so utterly empty and defeated, that's not how it's supposed to be-]
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But her question is just as hard, and he looks away, out at the ocean again. ]
Dunno. Didn't want to win.
[ He doesn't even know if he could have won, but trying, trying to win for the Captain's entertainment? That isn't what he wanted to do ]
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More importantly, she's a little indignant in her reply.]
That's not what I meant!
[She wouldn't have wanted to see him going around killing the others and winning the game. Natsuno looked like hell, a short while earlier. Yuri already looks like hell.]
Why did you just...let yourself die like that?! Flynn and I saw it, you know-!
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He stays still, another type of pain dropping through him. The pain that he caused his friends pain, that they hurt because they had to watch him do that, that they care enough to be hurt by him dying. ]
...no. I didn't know that.
[ His hand curls into a fist on the railing, staring hard out at the ocean ]
I'm sorry, Rita. I broke my promise to you. [ That he wouldn't do anything stupid, that he wouldn't try to die. He did exactly that ]
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Dammit. She's still kind of mad (upset) with him, but that part isn't his fault (none of it is his fault, really).]
But why? I thought you were supposed to try and survive, not just...let yourself die!
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[ His voice is quiet, his body still. His head is pounding, but that's his punishment, isn't it? At least he can feel it. ]
You were dead. Flynn never showed up. Everyone...
[ He doesn't need to go down that path ]
If I took myself out, then that saves one more person from having to kill me. It made it end faster.
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[Why not survive (alone and miserable?), there could have been things he could've tried (like what?), he could've stuck it out longer (just to be killed by poison?)--Rita can't quite formulate a response with all the broken thoughts competing in her mind, but there's an awful pressure in her chest. It's just like-
Like when Raven betrayed them and seemingly died. He came back afterwards, just like Yuri's here now, but one day--one day, one of them is going to die and they might not come back.]
You idiot! Jerk!
[It's about all the eloquence she can muster as she does finally snap and throw a punch at his chest, rather than doing something stupid like cry.]
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Ow. You wanna kill me again?
[ He remembers Clarke falling into the ocean, okay? ]
I said I was sorry!
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[She can't take that comment in stride today, so she closes in and jabs her finger in his chest next.]
You're still an idiot!
[Her face is only red because she's angry. Her eyes aren't looking just a tad wet. That's all it is!!]
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Yeah, yeah, I know. Look, it wasn't like it was fun.
[ A beat ]
What happened to you? I only saw, afterward.
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After-?
[It clicks almost immediately; Yuri was still on the island, so it means he must have found their--bodies, or the blood, or whatever was left. Rita crosses her arms and steps back, letting Yuri have some personal space again.]
...Some idiot decided we were a threat and attacked us. And...
[She doesn't like this part, or the part where her own spell drew Pluma's attention in the first place, but there's no point in hiding it from Yuri--even if it wasn't being broadcast all over the ship.]
And...I messed up a spell.
[She flexes her right hand again. Maybe it was stupid to sign up for that "trip" when she was still having trouble with large spells.]
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Shit. I'm sorry. You... we?
[ He doesn't know that Jade was there too, only what Natsuno told him. ]
I found Natsuno. He, he saw your bodies.
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That four-eyed guy--Jade. He was there too--that idiot, all because he couldn't mind his own business...
[Jade seems to have that in common with him, too.
No matter how much she hates it, Rita can admit that she messed up big time, though. After this...she can't let something like that happen again. She can't be recklessly putting her friends in danger.]
...You know it's not your fault there's some real nutcases on the ship, right?
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I swear to you, I'll be there next time. I'll stop them.
[ Clearly he didn't listen to that last sentence, too lost in his own anger at himself, for letting Rita die, for not being there to back her up. She's no good in a fight alone, but protected? She's the most powerful one of them all.
But-- ]
Jade didn't kill you. Did he?
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[Oh, he sure as hell is doing that thing, and beating himself up just because he has to feel responsible for everyone and everything (not that she's ever disliked that about him, but now--it looks like it's destroying him).
But he gets spared from some more yelling and punching (for now) with that question. Rita shakes her head.]
No. For how annoying that guy can be, it turns out he's about as big a softy on the inside as you are.
[That is, she thinks they're both big softies.]
It was some other nutcase.
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Some other... have you seen him again? Are you, I guess you're not alright, are you? Hell, dying sucks.
[ And he hates that she experienced it, that he couldn't do more to prevent it, that he couldn't be there. He wants to make it up to her, but how do you make up for death? ]
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It's easier to address Yuri's other question. Especially with the way he looks at her like that. Yeah, dying really does suck, and they both know it now--and she hates that.]
...Physically, everything's fine. I don't know if the same can be said for you, though.
[He looks like hell. Not that any of them look fine, but there's something especially off in the pallor of his face.]
Where were you yesterday, anyway?
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He hates that he feels like he owes her. Like her friendship is like an entry fee she paid that means he has to actually answer instead of deflecting like he wants to. Having people like Rita, like Estelle, like Karol, it really is different, and he still isn't used to it. When it was Flynn and him, they were always in sync, always knew what the other one was thinking. With his guild, his friends, they care about him, but it's different, and Yuri finds it hard to accept.
He toys with the answer for a moment, not quite looking at her. He's as honest as he can be: ] I was here. Sorry, if I worried you. I needed some time alone.
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[Wait, saying out loud she was worried? She'd die of embarrassment. So she cuts the shout short, crosses her arms, and frowns, because she's certain she checked the pool, but...he's here now, anyway.
Plus...she gets it. How long would she have stayed in her cabin alone after waking up, if Jade and Fio hadn't both come by?]
A-anyway... I know the whole "lone wolf" bit is your thing, but...
[Actually, no, she is going to die of embarrassment because this is about to be the dumbest, cheesiest thing she's ever said. Ugh. But she's still going to say it, because someone has to with Yuri. She's just going to turn around first don't look at her-]
...At a time like this, it's not that bad to be not-alone, you know!
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Yeah, I'm getting that.
[ But after the telling off he got from Flynn-- for once he doesn't want to just go against it. He actually might consider changing, might try and take this whole situation by the horns and commit to figuring it out. So what if he was dying at home, he's alive now. He's died and been brought back, he can't assume that all is for nothing just because Sodia decided he wasn't worth the air he breathes. Rita thinks he is. Flynn thinks he is. That has to count for something, even if Yuri has a hard time internalizing it ]
You know what that means, right? We're a wolf pack, now.
[ It's a dumb joke, and it deserves to be treated as such, but at least he isn't looking quite so morose ]
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...A trio is hardly what I'd call a pack.
[...He does look a bit better, though. And this was clearly "yelling some sense into him", not a pep talk.]
So...what's next, then?
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I dunno. Figure out how to get off this ship. Figure out how to stop the Captain at his own game. It's... hard. If death means nothing, here. [ Meaning that Yuri's usual methods won't really work ] But with your genius brain, Flynn's leadership, and my... [ what does he bring? He doesn't really know. ] We'll find a way. That guy's not gonna beat us.
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You're damn right. Sure, dying...really sucked. But we're back now, and we still have a world waiting for us. We'll never get back to it if we just mope around.
[It's not actually going to be that simple, of course. But talking it over like this, it makes a lot of the dread and horror from the past few days feel...more distant, in a way. At least right now.]
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He pushes himself up, rapping his knuckles on the railing. ] Has someone won yet?
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