[It's the only thing Rita can type in response. She can't put into words the incredibly mixed feelings this news garners, has half a mind to speculate on the incredibly suspicious timing--maybe even think this means it's it for that red string plan, though maybe they ought to see if they can't find that string, but-]
We spoke, the day I got back. My takeaway was the two of them were as close as one can get to that thing, apart from Fio. And that it helped you guys get the rocket out of atmosphere, and maybe it has more answers.
( there is a delay, during which time clarke hems and haws and nibbles at her nail. because there are two versions of the same truth she could tell rita right now, but only one feels like it'd lead to a fight or another round of "convince me". but their well forged friendship and newfound policy of open honesty is precious to her, and thus...
[Rita waffles between texting being convenient and a bit of a pain--right now, she's leaning towards the latter, because she can't see Clarke's face, but in the end--it doesn't actually matter, because she does get an honest answer relatively quickly. She doesn't take the time to be surprised as this development, momentarily too distracted by a small burst of mixed emotions again: annoyed that Ari apparently went and blabbed to someone right away despite giving everyone else a hard time about sharing this information, but also it is Clarke, who would've been all in on the launch if she'd been around, so. Rita gets why.
But anyway, more important: what that very simple sentence actually means. There's a shorter delay on Rita's end as a weird, uncertain tension ripples through her veins. Distrust towards the string plan and its painfully suspicious author meets gnawing fear that she could lose anyone, at anyone time, even if they've only just returned...]
( it's understandable how her somewhat instant inclusion on the topic could rub a few people the wrong way, especially after that prolonged absence. but also — finally her vehement anti-ship reputation earned something of a reward. )
I think it's as far as anyone has ever gotten in terms of actually getting off this ship. And I get that it's risky, but I think it'd be worth it.
"Risky" is putting it mildly. You've seen enough to know it's an obvious trap, right?
You think it's worth risking becoming someone's museum artifact?
[Sure, Clarke's already said she thinks so. But Rita has to take the chance to get Clarke to realize the risks... (or is she giving an opportunity for the opposite--for Clarke to convince her it's better than the alternative of torture and vanishment?)]
Artifact sounds like an improvement compared to suffering-powered battery.
This sounds like an argument of the evil you know versus the evil you don't. I think it's fine to be scared of the unknown, Rita, but we can't let that paralyze us. Fear is a weakness, and weakness is death at the rate we're going. It was never going to be easy to get out, but we cannot stay here.
It's not that I'm afraid. You think I fear the unknown?
[Let's definitely not bring up ghosts or anything, Rita absolutely does not fear the unknown, hahaha....
But what she does fear (knowingly and admittedly) is continuously losing everyone she cares about. That fear also butts up against her disgust for the Village, trying to force everyone to accept that was better than the ship, and how even her mind was altered to the point that she tried to strongarm Natsuno into believing it. And maybe she's afraid of doing something like that again, but isn't quite ready to just outright spill that much of her heart out into a text conversation, so-]
It's not about fear. I just don't trust that message.
( all of this feels perfectly summarized with rita's abject disgust to palamedes' flesh magic compared to clarke's virtual reverence of the same skill. )
I'm willing to try something new.
Think of it this way: either everything works out or everything goes to shit. What is there to lose?
Only if everything goes to shit, at least the entire ship will finally be united against one common enemy.
[Clarke asks what there is to lose, and Rita feels the answer as a strong pang in her chest: everyone here she cares about. And it's guaranteed to happen if she chooses inaction. A part of her is tempted to make some jab about Darcy being too stupid to identify a common enemy, but even she knows there's a time and place for petty asides, and this isn't it. Even if she was brainwashed, though, there were plenty who went after Number Jerk in his stupid fake movie set village, too.
Mulling over all this in her head, the reply comes with a brief delay.]
I know we have to do something. I just don't know how I feel about making that choice for everyone else.
[She'd actually been on Crichton's side where that was concerned. Yet...]
But then you came back.
And now I have more to lose by doing nothing.
[So much for not spilling her heart out over text, short as it is.]
( on clarke's end she lets out a breath she hadn't known that she'd been holding. relief washes over her like soft waves lapping at a beach front. she had been relatively certain that even if he balked, natsuno would be on her side or could at least be convinced to bite his tongue. rita had felt a bit more like a wildcard, but perhaps that had been unfair.
there is a pause before the next message. )
Thank you, Rita. I wouldn't want to do this without the two of you.
For what it's worth, you're not really the one making the choice for everyone. I am. And that's just what I do.
( historically, at least. for the first time a hint of bitterness infiltrates clarke's thoughts. her blood pulses a little coldly, her mouth buttons into a a sour frown, and she chews over the sentiment — this isn't mount weather, this isn't the bunker, this isn't the nightblood serum, this isn't the list. this isn't mount weather, this isn't the bunker, this isn't the nightblood serum, this isn't the list. this isn't... — a few times until her resolve settles back. then, oh yeah. one small piece of information that hasn't been outright stated in this conversation yet. )
[She barely has to think the make the connection when Clarke says two of you, because of course it's Natsuno, and Rita feels a little relief of her own. Rita's not normally one for indecisiveness, but the Village had an effect on her, and maybe selfishly, she can at least not have to worry about whether or not she's forcing him into something he doesn't want. Anyway. Clarke says it's just what she does, and to that Rita does have a comeback-]
You do what you have to, right? Anyway, of course I'm not letting you take all that responsibility alone.
[With her decision on where she stands now made, Rita's all in. Also, so maybe she's a bit of a hypocrite in that she's more willing to forgive her friends than strangers for the same thing, but she's certainly not going to think about that, even before Clarke drops that next bombshell. She feels her heartrate spike, blood suddenly rushing in her head. Because, yeah.
My current plan is come up with a plan, and quickly. I don't know how to get him out of the Bridge, he never answers when I visit and we can't send you again. Or Natsuno, not after the part he played in the distraction effort.
I don't suppose anyone on Team Captain switched sides while I was gone, did they?
[Not that she paid all that much attention to who outside the launch team may or may not have been changing allegiances.]
I wouldn't mind going to the bridge again, but whether or not he'd risk it after I already distracted him once? It's hard to predict what goes on in that jerk's head.
[And she means it: she would volunteer to draw his attention again. She just thinks that anyone with half a brain would be unlikely to be fooled a second time. Anyway, she isn't going to volunteer Natsuno for him, so that means-]
But if we don't exactly have any other volunteers, it's worth a try.
( of course no one switched sides, that'd be too easy. ah well, it was worth asking, if only to fully cement the fact rita was completely on board. that offer to put herself in the position of bait is telling — after all, those who were around for it would never forget the smell of her burnt and mangled arm from all those years ago. it's still an option, if things don't pan out otherwise, but...
clarke'd had the thought while speaking to ari, though it'd been quiet and whispered in the back of her mind in lexa's voice. being a good leader was being able to look into the eyes of your men and tell them go die for me. but clarke griffin had ended up different than lexa kom trikru. she was the type willing to let a bomb drop on a peace meeting with 250 of her people in attendance rather than subject bellamy blake to capture, and she is the type who will not send rita to the bridge again even if the girl would go willingly. )
I'll consider it, but for now we're not doing that.
( this can also be read as: i'm not giving you the string. but no need to delve too deep into why. )
Let me explore other options. But I'll tell you when it's time to move.
[For now, Clarke says, and Rita accepts that far more easily than if the other girl had rejected sending her outright. Anyway, Rita doesn't want the string; someone quick and stealthy needs to be able to slip it around the captain's neck, and as much as she'd like to claim she can do those just fine, when it's a case like this where they'd likely only have one shot--she can recognize she's not the best one for the job. Distraction apparently suits her better.]
Alright. Keep me updated. It's unlikely, but I guess if I do hear anyone who's decided to change sides, I can let you know.
[Since Clarke brought Rita and Natsuno in on the plan (or plan to make a plan), she wouldn't go and do anything reckless without them, right?]
( for whatever that ends of being worth. i promise to keep you in the loop, i promise to do whatever i can to keep you alive, i promise not to disappear again or at least fight against it harder this time. i promise to consider the sacrifice you're willing to chance going up against the captain again, even if that directly contradicts promise number two. i promise to figure this out.
i promise to get this done.
amazing how much can be crammed into two whole words lit up by an led display screen, isn't there? )
And yeah, the second you hear anything, whatever it might be, let me know.
( ... )
And it goes without saying, do NOT tell anyone else about this, right?
Shouldn't be, so long as he doesn't know what he's looking for. Just don't bring it up.
( simultaneously side eyeing rita's propensity to open her mouth and just let what the fuck ever slide out of it, but also trusting that at least this time she won't. stakes are too high, and as they've both pointed out — jade is too smart. give him an inch, he'll take a mile.
and clarke was unfortunately the one who already gave him a whole foot before attempting to reel it back in. best not take any more chances. )
[Wdym she is clearly excellent at keeping things from Jade specifically!! Anyway, while she will keep that promise, it leaves a sort of discomfort in the pit of her stomach.]
But you get to explain to him after the fact, okay?
( and if her stomach flip-flops at the very thought, that's just preemptive public speaking anxiety — definitely not any worry that she may have to later explain a failure. it's fine. )
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[It's the only thing Rita can type in response. She can't put into words the incredibly mixed feelings this news garners, has half a mind to speculate on the incredibly suspicious timing--maybe even think this means it's it for that red string plan, though maybe they ought to see if they can't find that string, but-]
What do you want to talk to Sparkles for?
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Who knows, we may need that help again.
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How much did she tell you?
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well, she at least starts off slow. )
She let me read the letter.
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But anyway, more important: what that very simple sentence actually means. There's a shorter delay on Rita's end as a weird, uncertain tension ripples through her veins. Distrust towards the string plan and its painfully suspicious author meets gnawing fear that she could lose anyone, at anyone time, even if they've only just returned...]
So what did you think?
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I think it's as far as anyone has ever gotten in terms of actually getting off this ship. And I get that it's risky, but I think it'd be worth it.
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You think it's worth risking becoming someone's museum artifact?
[Sure, Clarke's already said she thinks so. But Rita has to take the chance to get Clarke to realize the risks... (or is she giving an opportunity for the opposite--for Clarke to convince her it's better than the alternative of torture and vanishment?)]
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This sounds like an argument of the evil you know versus the evil you don't. I think it's fine to be scared of the unknown, Rita, but we can't let that paralyze us. Fear is a weakness, and weakness is death at the rate we're going. It was never going to be easy to get out, but we cannot stay here.
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[Let's definitely not bring up ghosts or anything, Rita absolutely does not fear the unknown, hahaha....
But what she does fear (knowingly and admittedly) is continuously losing everyone she cares about. That fear also butts up against her disgust for the Village, trying to force everyone to accept that was better than the ship, and how even her mind was altered to the point that she tried to strongarm Natsuno into believing it. And maybe she's afraid of doing something like that again, but isn't quite ready to just outright spill that much of her heart out into a text conversation, so-]
It's not about fear. I just don't trust that message.
Are you willing to risk an even worse situation?
[It's still not entirely a no on Rita's part.]
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I'm willing to try something new.
Think of it this way: either everything works out or everything goes to shit. What is there to lose?
Only if everything goes to shit, at least the entire ship will finally be united against one common enemy.
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Mulling over all this in her head, the reply comes with a brief delay.]
I know we have to do something. I just don't know how I feel about making that choice for everyone else.
[She'd actually been on Crichton's side where that was concerned. Yet...]
But then you came back.
And now I have more to lose by doing nothing.
[So much for not spilling her heart out over text, short as it is.]
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there is a pause before the next message. )
Thank you, Rita. I wouldn't want to do this without the two of you.
For what it's worth, you're not really the one making the choice for everyone. I am. And that's just what I do.
( historically, at least. for the first time a hint of bitterness infiltrates clarke's thoughts. her blood pulses a little coldly, her mouth buttons into a a sour frown, and she chews over the sentiment — this isn't mount weather, this isn't the bunker, this isn't the nightblood serum, this isn't the list. this isn't mount weather, this isn't the bunker, this isn't the nightblood serum, this isn't the list. this isn't... — a few times until her resolve settles back. then, oh yeah. one small piece of information that hasn't been outright stated in this conversation yet. )
I have it already.
( it. )
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You do what you have to, right? Anyway, of course I'm not letting you take all that responsibility alone.
[With her decision on where she stands now made, Rita's all in. Also, so maybe she's a bit of a hypocrite in that she's more willing to forgive her friends than strangers for the same thing, but she's certainly not going to think about that, even before Clarke drops that next bombshell. She feels her heartrate spike, blood suddenly rushing in her head. Because, yeah.
It.]
That was fast. Do you have a plan?
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I don't suppose anyone on Team Captain switched sides while I was gone, did they?
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[Not that she paid all that much attention to who outside the launch team may or may not have been changing allegiances.]
I wouldn't mind going to the bridge again, but whether or not he'd risk it after I already distracted him once? It's hard to predict what goes on in that jerk's head.
[And she means it: she would volunteer to draw his attention again. She just thinks that anyone with half a brain would be unlikely to be fooled a second time. Anyway, she isn't going to volunteer Natsuno for him, so that means-]
But if we don't exactly have any other volunteers, it's worth a try.
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clarke'd had the thought while speaking to ari, though it'd been quiet and whispered in the back of her mind in lexa's voice. being a good leader was being able to look into the eyes of your men and tell them go die for me. but clarke griffin had ended up different than lexa kom trikru. she was the type willing to let a bomb drop on a peace meeting with 250 of her people in attendance rather than subject bellamy blake to capture, and she is the type who will not send rita to the bridge again even if the girl would go willingly. )
I'll consider it, but for now we're not doing that.
( this can also be read as: i'm not giving you the string. but no need to delve too deep into why. )
Let me explore other options. But I'll tell you when it's time to move.
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Alright. Keep me updated. It's unlikely, but I guess if I do hear anyone who's decided to change sides, I can let you know.
[Since Clarke brought Rita and Natsuno in on the plan (or plan to make a plan), she wouldn't go and do anything reckless without them, right?]
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( for whatever that ends of being worth. i promise to keep you in the loop, i promise to do whatever i can to keep you alive, i promise not to disappear again or at least fight against it harder this time. i promise to consider the sacrifice you're willing to chance going up against the captain again, even if that directly contradicts promise number two. i promise to figure this out.
i promise to get this done.
amazing how much can be crammed into two whole words lit up by an led display screen, isn't there? )
And yeah, the second you hear anything, whatever it might be, let me know.
( ... )
And it goes without saying, do NOT tell anyone else about this, right?
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Obviously. We won't get very far if this gets out to the wrong idiots.
[Rita will not be the first to admit she has a big mouth, but even so--she does know discretion is important in this.]
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Not even Jade, okay?
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It's pretty hard to hide things from him, you know.
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( simultaneously side eyeing rita's propensity to open her mouth and just let what the fuck ever slide out of it, but also trusting that at least this time she won't. stakes are too high, and as they've both pointed out — jade is too smart. give him an inch, he'll take a mile.
and clarke was unfortunately the one who already gave him a whole foot before attempting to reel it back in. best not take any more chances. )
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[Wdym she is clearly excellent at keeping things from Jade specifically!! Anyway, while she will keep that promise, it leaves a sort of discomfort in the pit of her stomach.]
But you get to explain to him after the fact, okay?
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( and if her stomach flip-flops at the very thought, that's just preemptive public speaking anxiety — definitely not any worry that she may have to later explain a failure. it's fine. )
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just blame valdis if it doesn't]